This week I secured myself a date with a London lady. After initial language barrier issues (I still haven't lost my accent), we hit it off and agreed to meet up. She wanted to go somewhere romantic, so I immediately booked a visit to the Retired Greyhound Trust at Whittingham Kennels.
In Newcastle I would attend around fifteen dog races a week, it being compulsory to attend, so this was my chance to impress her with my extensive canine knowledge:
“Did you know that greyhounds can go from zero to forty miles per hour in only a matter of seconds?” I asked. I could tell from her silence and the impassive look on her face - she was impressed!
We walked a team of greyhounds around Epping Forest and onto a hill that commanded
spectacular views of Essex. Whilst I recited tips from the Greyhound Care Handbook (did you know they’re great with pensioners? me neither!) I noticed my date was constantly checking her phone. Doubtless she was messaging friends, bragging about the great afternoon she was having.
Our date finished with lunch at the kennels (I’d brought sandwiches because the cafe stops serving human food after three) then we were awarded with Greyhound goodie bags - chew toys and dog treats galore!
So my first taste of romance in London, much like a greyhound’s fur, went pretty smoothly. There’s also other kennels nearby, so that’s a second date all sorted.
Still haven't heard back from her yet though - she's probably just thinking of a cool way to say 'absolutely!'